Service or Servitude?

A New Poem

I’ve been a follower of Suleika Jaouad for a few years now. I loved her first book, Between Two Kingdoms, and the fact that she also is living with/surviving cancer made me especially interested in reading about her story.

When her second book, The Book of Alchemy, came out, I checked it out of the library. But because it consists of short chapters with writing prompts, it isn’t really meant to be read cover to cover. I’ve been journal writing since I was young, so I didn’t feel the need to buy the book. But for my birthday earlier this month, my sister gifted me with the book and the accompanying blank book journal (thanks, Ellen!), and I decided to suspend my usual morning pages and go with the book’s prompts. I have to say, it was a great decision - this writing has been so much more interesting than my usual blah-blah-blah daily download.

In addition, I decided to end each day’s writing with a poem based on it. I really don’t know what inspired me, but it’s really been fun. I wouldn’t want to post most of these poems, but every now and then one comes that I’m happy with. This one is one of those.

When she was a young woman,
	she lived in service to men and
		the expectations of tradition.

Living a life of service may be
	 a gift, a blessing, a generosity of spirit
		arising from a true calling.

But when "living in service" is truly
	living in servitude, one has surrendered
		herself into soul-diminishing shadow.

All of her shaping and all that she observed
	led her to the pursuit and attainment 
		of what appeared to be love.

But this misguided pull to give her heart
	to the heart of another truly meant
		giving herself away.

Now, years later, having understood and worked
	to recover herself and overcome
		succumbing to the old ways,

She finds herself once more drawn
	into another form 
		of self- submission.

The old patterns easily come back 
	to life, the old urge to servitude 
		resurrects and beckons.

But her eyes are open now,
	her determination strong, and
		 she asserts -

I will live my best life;
	I refuse to live my life in service
		to this cancer.
		
		

This is my SoulCollage® card that I called I Will Not Live in Service to Cancer.  The determination is real, even if I  don't always live up to it!